


summer kisses

by haeni (hanijima)



Category: EXO (Band), f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cheesy romance, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Unrequited Love, i hate myself what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanijima/pseuds/haeni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the small corner of the library, Baekhyun plays with the frayed edges of an old book. The scent of it permeating his nose as he recalls how much his misplaced hatred towards Song Qian made a little gap between him and Yifan and most importantly, Chanyeol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	summer kisses

_High school_  
It's different. They're supposed to be the only occupants on the rooftop, bonding over One Piece and their common hatred towards English and Math. The weather today's been cool, the hot sun hidden behind clouds and the wind not so chilly on the skin. But there's another forecast Baekhyun didn't see in the morning news.

Yifan brought a girl with him. 

"Hi, I'm Song Qian."

Baekhyun never thought that on that fateful day, everything he's ever gotten used to would gradually crumble into dust right in his front of his face.

Song Qian becomes a new constant in their lives. An existence he knows he shouldn't question. They're friends after all, right? It's just the way Yifan looks at her that seems disconcerting, fueling a churning feeling in Baekhyun's gut. He hates the fond way Yifan looks at her.

\--- 

Summer break rolls in, and everyone's excited to chop some watermelon's to quench the thirst after burning under the scorching sun. Baekhyun's planned a lot of cool adventures for him and Yifan, but on the first day of vacation, Yifan apologizes that he wouldn't make it because he had promised Song Qian they'd go mountain climbing with her parents.

 _It's okay._ Baekhyun says on the second day as well, because Song Qian wanted to go to the province to her grandmother's house. _It's okay._ He says, on the third day when he's turned down after he ran to Yifan's house, carrying a new game console he's been itching to play with. _It's okay._ He says when it's the last day of summer break and Yifan still hasn't hung out with him.

 _It's okay. It's okay._ He sobs into his pillow for the nth time that summer. _It's okay._

Summer's supposed to be suntans and adventures and fun. Baekhyun can't wait for summer to end.

\---

He blearily wakes up to Yifan shaking him out of the bed. "What are you doing here?" He asks, stifling a yawn behind his hand.

"I'm picking you up! We've got stupid classes to attend to. Let's go!" Baekhyun sits in the middle of his bed, half lidded and puffy eyes, staring at Yifan's retreating figure, probably to ask for some toast. It's funny how Yifan acts like he was never gone. And Baekhyun thinks it's okay, because he's back now. 

Song Qian still joins them on the rooftop sometimes, usually during between classes and after class. She probably eats lunch with her other friends. Harsh but Baekhyun thought she was a loner because she had to hang out with Yifan all summer and not with her other friends.

There's that look on Yifan's face again. He's smitten, closed to being whipped, as he gnaws on the stir fry she made for them. Baekhyun shakes the erroneous thoughts away, nodding politely at Song Qian's story about her cat getting stuck in a box.

\---

It's between finals when Yifan disappears on him again. He's holing himself up in the library to study because _Song Qian's an honor student, I gotta be one too._ What the hell is with that mentality?

He decides to drop by one day, intent on surprising Yifan with some bread he bought from the cafeteria. He fought over Jongdae for the last piece of Banana roll, threatening to end their friendship by ratting him out to the hot senior Jongdae's been eyeing for months. Ironically, Baekhyun's the one who gets surprised. 

Yifan's got an arm wrapped around Song Qian's shoulders, her head resting on Yifan's chest. They look so peaceful and in love and there's an uncomfortable boiling in the pit of Baekhyun's stomach as he watches Yifan confess to Song Qian who gratefully says _yes, I like you too._

Baekhyun turns back and runs for it. He's only thought it, never did he think they'd actually be together, maybe it's all a hoax. He looks down, eyes heavy with tears, and he doesn't see his heart breaking, only feeling it.

This is what you get for being in love with your best friend. A stupid heartbreak.

\---

Baekhyun tries not to sound indifferent when Yifan finally decided to break the 'good news' to him. He's almost jaded after another night of crying himself to sleep; he's got to stop doing that but he doesn't really know what else to do.

"Really?" He musters up the best surprised face he could pull. "That's great! I'm happy for you!" Yifan doesn't see Baekhyun clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides, too eager to plan out his future dates with Song Qian.

\---

He's in college now, taking up Literature, a good hundred kilometers away from Yifan and his girlfriend. It's a good—

 

There's a faint tap on Baekhyun's shoulder that wakes him up from his reverie. 

"Hey, sorry I took so long. Were you bored without me?"

Baekhyun survived four excruciating college years without contacting Yifan. He changed his phone number and rarely came home for the holidays. It wasn't easy to forget, but school had really helped repress his feelings for some other days. Now he's finally out of school and working at a local library sorting out books by day. 

"No, Yeol. I wasn't bored." And he's got a boyfriend. Or, had begrudgingly got a boyfriend of his own after several failed dates his roommate in college set up for him and countless flings that never got him anywhere. He's undeniably attractive though, tall just like Yifan, and he plays the guitar. That's it. That's the synopsis for Park Chanyeol. 

They've been dating for… what? Three months, perhaps? And Baekhyun's still not used to it—being grounded. The hushed whispers in the library growing softer and softer compared to Chanyeol's boisterous laughter. He almost forgets to scold him because, _dammit Chanyeol do you want me to get fired?_

\---

The easy clattering of plates on wood fills Baekhyun's ears as he sits in the usual cafe, an untouched muffin gingerly placed next to his cappuccino. He's been remembering the stupid past for about half an hour while Chanyeol's running late for their stupid date. 

"Shouldn't have gotten up in the beginning," Baekhyun grumbles into his cup. Then suddenly he hears a familiar laugh, one he's been accustomed to since forever ago on stupid rooftops, one where he always hears when his being beaten at a stupid game. 

"Baekhyun!" Yifan calls, heading towards him with a pretty and tall Song Qian in tow. "How have you been?" They sit across him without hesitating after a short exchange of hellos. He discreetly types a _get your ass here park!!!! help me!!!!_ and sends it to Chanyeol, more than five times with a lot of angry emojis. 

"How's the writing thing going for you?"

"It's pretty good, I guess. Writing about shitty guys changing for the better to accommodate the tastes of young girls and entice them to read my soon to be finished novel. But alas, the library gives me a lot of work though," Baekhyun laughs, feeling his phone vibrate under the table. _already here baek ;)_ flashing on his screen.

"That's great to hear," Yifan says. He hasn't changed much, still too tall and he's still got that stupid gummy smile on. His taste in clothes took a better route, nonetheless. He looks like he wants to say something, but Song Qian beats him to it.

"So, what have you been up to these past few years? Still single?" Song Qian's jokes are mostly unintentionally insensitive, and Baekhyun tries his best not to roll his eyes at her, opting to smile instead. 

The cappuccino nestled in his hands starts to simmer down and this is already his third cup. _Hurry up, Chanyeol._ Baekhyun thinks, eyes twitching in irritation. "I'm not single, not by a long shot." Just then the little bell on the top of the door chimes, and Chanyeol clad in his stupid rocker tee and jeans walks his way over, shaking his wet hair. "Hey. Sorry I'm late."

Baekhyun has half the mind to remind him to wear his stupid coat when it's four degrees and raining outside, he doesn't say anything though. "Oh, hey," Baekhyun tries to sound nonchalant as Chanyeol slips by his side. "This is Chanyeol. Chanyeol, this is Yifan and his girlfriend, Song Qian."

"I didn't know you were--"

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me." Baekhyun cuts her, and adds a small laugh at the end. "After all, it's been a few years."

"Oh, yes," Song Qian looks at Yifan uneasily. Chanyeol just places a hand on Baekhyun's knee, squeezing a bit in assurance. Baekhyun doesn't feel it, he's too engrossed in Yifan's face, looking for a reaction. 

"Hey, I haven't ordered yet. I'll get you guys some latte, if you're cool with that."

"Fanfan doesn't drink coffee," Song Qian says, primly shaking her head and requesting for some jasmine and chamomile tea instead. Chanyeol does a single finger salute, turning to Baekhyun who waves him away.

"So, since when did you prefer tea over coffee?" Baekhyun eyes Yifan with an amused grin. He was a coffee-holic like Baekhyun in college (so he heard). Coffee brings you to life after all, and it is a staple food (or drink) when you've got shit load of projects to finish before their deadlines.

"It's not good for your health. Drinking tea is better." Song Qian answers for him. Oh, if only they weren't in public, if only Song Qian isn't Yifan's girlfriend, he'd probably ask her to stop bullshitting him. Yifan just laughs, stealing Baekhyun's muffin while his girlfriend rattles on about the health benefits of tea.

\--- 

"Wow, you were quite pissed earlier."

"Who wouldn't be pissed at her. Seriously."

"Because she said coffee isn't healthy?"

"I call bullshit on that. Utter bullshit. Since when did Yifan even give a fuck about his health? Did you know when we were kids he ate a pinata full of chips on his eighth birthday. Like all of the chips, not even a crumb left. That glutton."

"He's skinny now, though, Haha," The laugh seems forced out of Chanyeol. Baekhyun chooses to ignore it in place of rolling on the couch. "He really must've changed. They've been together for a few years, right?"

"We've been together since we were in diapers," Baekhyun mutters. "What about the bros before hoes pact?"

"You're not gonna let the coffee thing go, aren't you."

"Never. She's probably the only one who drinks tea, and she's trying to influence Yifan. Yifan probably did the ‘you're my cup of tea' thing. Gross."

"Typical." Chanyeol snorts, putting on a cashmere sweater on top of his rocker tee.

"Excuse me, Park Chanyeol. Are you sassing me?"

"Am I?" Chanyeol teases, adding some firewood to the flickering fire. Baekhyun's glaring at him, thinking of murdering him with his intense gaze. The taller one just leans it to pat Baekhyun's head, messing up his hair. "There there, I'll buy you a tall cappuccino later, okay? Don't let it get to you."

Baekhyun sighs and nods, placated. He doesn't understand how Chanyeol can pat his stupid jealousy away to a minimum. Chanyeol adjusts Baekhyun's legs until he's sitting on the couch too, the smaller man's feet splayed across his lap as they watch Louise from Bob's Burgers going hysterical about her crush not crush. _How apt._

\--- 

_Park Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol. How do you define an enigma such as him?_

"Morning. Hey, Baek."

"Yeah?"" He turns around to find Chanyeol pouting across the kitchen counter, half naked in his pajamas. "Don't you have work?"

"Arbitrary day off. Wanna grab lunch later?" He stares at the taller gangly man. Baekhyun reaches out to fix Chanyeol's messy bed hair, frowning when it refuses to stay put. He should get a haircut. 

"Sure, my shift ends around… one in the afternoon." He hums happily, handing Chanyeol his mug of coffee and a plate of eggs. "Alrighty, I'm off."

"Oh… Oh, okay. I'll wait for you." Chanyeol says, leaning in to kiss him but Baekhyun waltz away from him, sauntering to dump the dishes for Chanyeol to clean.

 _Not this time._ "Alrighty. See you later, Park."

"Don't forget to wear a jacket! It's going to be colder later!" Chanyeol hollers before Baekhyun slams the front door. Chanyeol's a sweet giant, clumsy but sweet who always remind Baekhyun to do things, even the trivial matters. Baekhyun scribbles a short note about jackets and lunch date with _Park Chanyeol( >__ on his bookmark._

__

\--- 

Coincidentally, Yifan asks him out for lunch before his shift ended, and they go to a food chain a few blocks away, completely forgetting about his promise with Park Chanyeol.

\--- 

It's only until when he gets home that he finds Chanyeol waiting for him in the living room, silently watching him happily shed his coat. "You forgot." Chanyeol mutters. Baekhyun doesn't miss the accusatory tone in his voice. He sounds like a kicked puppy.

"Oh…? Oh, I'm sorry, it slipped my mind. My friend asked me to go with him, and I couldn't refuse, so…" He could refuse, honestly, not like Yifan's got an imaginary leash on him. He's over him, _right?_

Chanyeol still doesn't seem convinced, brows furrowing deeper even when Baekhyun cuddles next to him. He tries to poke Chanyeol's side to elicit a laugh or even a smile; it doesn't work though. So Baekhyun crosses his arms and lays his head down on the taller man's lap. 

"If you're going to be mad, I'm going to sleep here. Good night." Baekhyun closes his eyes, seriously going to sleep when Chanyeol groans. "What? I can't hear you."

"I'm free this Saturday, would you like to go to the amusement park with me?"

"I don't know Chanyeol. Last time you were late and I had the _pleasure_ of meeting some people I would rather forget."

Chanyeol leans in to leave a lingering kiss on Baekhyun's forehead. "Yeah, sorry about that. It won't happen again, I promise." Baekhyun hums his consent, pulling Chanyeol down for a proper kiss.

\--- 

Amusement parks are always fun. Baekhyun likes the rides they could go on while Chanyeol likes watching Baekhyun enjoying himself. It's cold as usual with autumn almost ending. 

Baekhyun spots a booth that has stuffed toys as prizes and quickly tugs the taller man with him. "Chanyeol, look at that koala!"

"Do you want one?" Chanyeol asks, already paying for the fee. It's a shooting game where one has to shoot three clown busts in order to get the top shelf prizes. It's a fair game, unless of course the heads are moving. "I'll get you the koala one."

"You don't really have to." Baekhyun stands back to watch Chanyeol load the three pieces of ammunition into the gun, poising and aiming at his own pace. The man behind the booth smiles and signals a go, turning on the machine that makes the heads move.

Chanyeol's first shot shatters one head instantly. The smaller one's excited yip offset his momentum as he grazes the second target and the third shot wasn't even a good one as it completely missed. Chanyeol apologizes about the petty consolation prize and tries again and again and again. 

"Hey, it's okay. I don't need a ton of these handmade bracelets," Baekhyun laughs. "Don't use up all you energy on the game! We still have rides to go on to!" Baekhyun coaxes him into dropping the toy gun and going onto sorts of rides with him. After all, he's the one who suggested they go there.

They ride the Viking at least three times, Chanyeol's knees buckling after they get off. The haunted house wasn't scary when you had someone more scared shitless than you. 

"I had fun," Baekhyun means it, really. The rollercoaster was vomit worthy, but Chanyeol had held his hand all throughout the ride, and it helped ease his fear. In fact, Chanyeol's still holding his hand. He looks down at their intertwined hands, cheeks reddening by the second. Baekhyun's not good with the whole affection thingy. He's done worse things than hand holding but it's the tiny gestures that warms him up. 

In his flustered state, he buries his face into the scarf, refusing to admit his situation. Byun Baekhyun, falling apart at the hands of Park Chanyeol's warm smiles. Park Chanyeol should be enough to cover up the hole Yifan tore in his heart.

\---

Stupid should be Baekhyun's middle name. After the amusement park thing, he's completely brushed of Chanyeol's advances for more than a week and refused his invitations of dinner. It doesn't even help that they live in the same apartment. Baekhyun always comes home late, rolling under the covers and sleeping almost immediately.

It's when Chanyeol scrolls through Baekhyun's inbox that he finds his boyfriend's conversation with Yifan. There's no harm in the topics they've chosen; after all, Yifan was Baekhyun's best friend a long time ago. But he just can't help the feeling in his gut when Baekhyun chose to hang out with him rather than his own boyfriend. It's not just a one time thing, it's been going on for days. 

He's being ditched for Yifan.

"I feel irritated," he says to Baekhyun on a Saturday night, (which is also movie night but Baekhyun forgot to buy DVDs to watch).

Baekhyun stops fiddling with his phone as he casts a curious glance at Chanyeol, who's close to fuming. Violently balling up his favorite scarf and tossing it aside. "What's up?"

"I'm jealous." He puts it simply, he's done beating around the bush with Baekhyun, it's gone on for too long. All the late night pondering, all the walls Baekhyun's put up since he met Yifan. He's sick of it.

"Well then." He goes back to his phone, tapping away the silence. 

Chanyeol snaps. "What do you mean ‘well then'?"

He doesn't look at the other man, intent on staring at his phone. The nonchalance that seeps out of his voice finally makes Chanyeol livid. "Well then, why don't you break up with me."

"What? Why would I?"

"Oh my god," Baekhyun throws the lap pillow on the floor in annoyance. He glares harshly at him, willing him to stop shouting. 

"You and Yifan seem to have the greatest time of your lives. Always having fun, texting even during your shift at the library. You send a lot of 'hahaha's when his jokes aren't even that funny. Not to hoot my own horn or anything but I'm funnier than him by a long shot and you rarely laugh at my jokes, in person or thru text."

"What are you playing at, Park? Yifan's an old friend."

"Don't play me for a fool. I like you, Baekhyun, but I know when I'm being played and treated like shit. I genuinely thought it was just your way of showing your affection towards me. Then I saw you with him, you were so different. So damn different. You broke your walls when he asked you too with not much effort."

"Then break up with me." Baekhyun challenges him, his voice eerily calm unlike his racing heart. Chanyeol is taken aback and he pushes the smaller man up against a wall, caging him in with his arms, pressing their bodies together. 

"How do you feel about me? Tell me." Chanyeol locks eyes with him, and Baekhyun feels like drowning in those bottomless hazel eyes. He shakes his head vigorously, trying to eliminate the wrong thoughts, trying to find the right thing to say to Chanyeol.

"I don't want people getting too close to me. It's dangerous to fall in love and to lead people on so much." This only makes the taller man huff at him sarcastically.

"Then why'd you agree to going out with me?" He asks, more to himself than to Baekhyun. "We've been together for a year already, and I still can't figure you out sometimes. Really, Baekhyun," his eyes turn fond, gentler like coddling a child, "tell me."

"I… I don't know," he says in a quiet voice, body going limp. "I don't know."

Chanyeol pulls back, sighing. "Maybe I'm just paranoid." He's about to turn shut the door to their room when Baekhyun slides down the wall. "You know, after everything we've been through, after all the times we've spent together, you've never said you liked me back."

\--- 

Chanyeol hasn't gotten out of their room since their argument. So Baekhyun decides to crawl in around midnight and take his side of the bed, pressing his forehead on Chanyeol's back. 

He doesn't care if Chanyeol wakes up and runs out or lash at him, he doesn't care because he's already made his fair share of mistakes. He's fallen in love with a person who didn't return their feelings maybe because Baekhyun never had the courage to ask. He's been selfish and reckless and this time he's going to try, to really try to be a better peson. To give Chanyeol the love he deserves. 

"How much of myself do I have to give to you for you to love me back?" Chanyeol asks, his voice sounding so dry and choked.

Baekhyun hugs him tightly from behind, "I don't want to lose you. I'm sorry, please don't give up on me yet."

It takes a few beats before Chanyeol turns around to face him, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips. "Never."


End file.
